


the one where they have a Secret Santa (and Dean and Cas... you know)

by alternate_me



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Castiel, Castiel Being Castiel, Castiel in the Bunker, Charlie Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Presents, Christmas in the Bunker, Confused Dean, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Funny, Harry Potter References, M/M, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:04:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alternate_me/pseuds/alternate_me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the first Christmas that Cas and Charlie spend with the Winchesters in the bunker, and Dean and Charlie have decided to make it a special occasion by suggesting that they should do a Secret Santa.</p><p>However, after knowing he'd got Cas, Dean didn't appear to be so pleased. </p><p>Well, maybe <em>pleased</em> is not the right word after all, because, even <em>liking</em> the angel - to say the least -, he sees himself in a tenuous situation, because, lately, he's had a hard time hiding confusing yet intense feelings for him, and he fears that this Secret Santa thing might give them away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the one where they have a Secret Santa (and Dean and Cas... you know)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lillibb8](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillibb8/gifts).



> So, before you start reading this, there are THREE things that you may need to know:
> 
> FIRST: this is a gift for a Secret Santa we've made, and it's for [lillibb8](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lillibb8) <3 About that, I may warn you that the idea for this fic was conceived last year, but I didn't finish it till Christmas, so I kinda abandoned it. I've rescued it a few days ago, changed some things, and, well, this is the result of it.
> 
> SECOND: I've NEVER written smut in my short life, but it was one of the requests of my friend, so, well, please, keep that in mind as you read it. (I'M BLUSHING JUST BY THINKING THAT PEOPLE WILL READ IT, THIS IS MY LEVEL OF SHYNESS)
> 
> THIRD: this is a short fic - though my "short" fics are getting bigger each time I write, because I'm getting even more attached to details than I used to be.
> 
> Well, that is it, I hope that specially you, Lillian (and the other girls from our group who read it), enjoy it ^-^
> 
> Merry Christmas, guys <3

“No, you don’t understand, it’s got to be _totally_ blue”

The shop attendant rolled her eyes discreetly as Dean looked down once again at the four ties in front of him. Two of them were striped; the others had small details over the strong blue color.

“Sir, the only ones we have are the ones that are exposed” she stood and walked to the tie section, moving some of them around, looking for something.

Then she let out a low exclamation and came back, her high heels knocking on the ground as she walked. She had a couple of ties in her hands.

“We have these ones”

Dean looked at the ties and sighed.

“No, I mean, they’re purely blue, but it’s not the right color” he passed his hands on his face “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, I’m just a little tired”

The woman looked at Dean and nodded. It had been ten minutes since that man had entered the store looking for ties. She had stepped up to help him at once. Tie sells usually didn’t take too long.

“Is it for your dad? Christmas gift?” she smiled, trying to initiate a conversation to relieve the tension over the issue, and maybe then they could work a way out of it.

“I’m sure he’ll like one of those, we sell them a lot”

“Oh, no, it’s not for my dad” Dean said. He didn’t even think his dad would ever wear a tie, but he said nothing to the lady “Secret Santa”

She opened her mouth in understanding and nodded slightly.

“Rigorous boss, eh? Has a _specific, strict_ taste for ties?” she smiled wide, her voice fun.

“No, no, none of these” Dean shook his head and stood, looking down at the ties that lay there, abandoned “But as you’ve asked, it’s for a friend”

She raised her eyebrows and thought of it for a moment or two. Dean stood in front of her, suddenly apprehensive. It looked like she had something to say. Maybe, he hoped, she would have other ties which she had forgotten about.

“Okay, so… he likes blue” she started “But I don’t see why you couldn’t take one of these for him”

Dean looked down, a quick thought passing through his mind. For a moment, it looked like he was going to accept it, but then he shook his head, rejecting the idea.

“Look, lady-“

“ _Clara_ ” she corrected him, smiling flatly. She pointed at the name tag pinned to her blouse.

“Clara,” Dean tilted his head “the situation is that this friend of mine used to have a blue tie, a totally blue tie in this _specific_ shade, okay? But he’s lost it, or it’s been burned or whatever” Dean suddenly noticed how odd it all sounded and looked up at Clara, who was smiling slightly, her eyes bearing thousands of doubts on what Dean was saying.

“Look, sorry” Dean said “I’m just trying to say that it was a very special tie, and I wanted him to have one just like that”

“Oh” Clara breathed out, clearly not knowing what to say “Sadly we don’t have any tie as the one you’ve described” she told him after a while, she wasn’t the best person to console others on personal problems. It wasn’t her job either.

“Yeah, yes, I’ve noticed” Dean started, scratching the back of his head “I was just explaining why I won’t take any of these with me” he pointed at the ties on the shop couch “I mean, they’re very nice, I would certainly buy one of these if it wasn’t for Cas” he let the name out and then noted that buying a tie shouldn’t imply intimate and apologizing talks with a shop attendant. He hesitated.

“I understand” she tried to be as polite as she could.

“So, eh, thank you for your help” Dean was done talking. He had talked too much actually. Time to go to another store.

“No problem” Clara smiled at him in a lovely way. Her kind eyes followed Dean as he walked to the door. 

At first, she had thought all of his requests to be really weird, she had actually considered that it could be a strange fixation of his, but now she’d got it. All of Dean’s worry and stubbornness over the issue had turned out to be just a cute consideration on a special gift. He really cared about whoever would receive that tie, she wondered. What a lucky guy that one should be.

“I hope you find your tie” she shouted out for Dean as he looked back before leaving the store.

He smiled at her and then turned back again, walking away.

***

Cas was sitting on the couch in the bunker room where they had set the television. There was some show on the screen, but he wasn’t actually paying attention to it. Charlie passed by the open door and stopped, turning back and looking inside.

The angel had his back to her, so he didn’t see when she entered the room, a bowl of popcorn in her hand.

“Cas” she called.

But he didn’t move, his eyes were fixed on the table in the front of the couch, although they saw nothing at all.

“ _Cas_ ” she called, louder.

He jumped in surprise – finally listening to her - and turned his head to her, his eyes appeared a little scared. When he saw she standing on the doorway, he sighed in relief, and a little smile showed up on his lips.

“Hi, Charlie”

“God, Cas” she said, walking to the couch and sitting beside him “What were you thinking about? If it was about the fanfiction you’ve read on my computer, I’m really sorry, but you shouldn’t look at anything without asking” her smile betrayed the seriousness in her words. The fanfiction incident had been, indeed, quite fun when she actually thought of it. 

“No, no, it’s not about that. I, uh-” he started and then looked down, the story of what he had read now coming back to him. 

He knew about Chuck’s books and lately he had known that the stories had many fans, and that most of them were on the internet, where there were art and some other stories made by them. Dean had told him about a case where they’d come across a musical about them which some girls had written, and which had even attracted Calliope – the only reason they had watched it, Dean guaranteed. Sam, on the other hand, had smirked and raised his eyebrows at Dean. He’d started saying something like _“Deast-“_ before Dean punched him on the stomach. Cas hadn’t really understood the word. The Winchesters surely knew how to be weird when they wanted to.

Then, days ago, he had found Charlie’s computer in the research room and his eyes had noticed his name on a full-written internet page. He had stopped to read it. It hadn’t taken long for Charlie to be back from the kitchen, holding a sandwich, but it had been long enough for him to read things like him keeping a bee farm and things like that. When Charlie made him move from the chair and looked at the screen, she appeared really alarmed. But then, after reading some of the words, she sighed in relief. 

Cas had thought about that sometimes since then and he still couldn’t understand why people would write about him. But, well, a bee farm - that was really sweet. 

He smiled slightly as he remembered the so called fanfiction.

“I was just wondering why would someone camp outside a store to buy things” Cas pointed at the television “I’ve seen on a channel many people outside a specific shop, because, apparently, tomorrow there is a big sale for Christmas, and I was just trying to understand this human behavior. But then I’ve started thinking of buying things and now I’ve realized that I may need some help with my Secret Santa gift” he looked at her, his eyes insinuating that the help he needed was hers.

“Cas, you know I can’t” Charlie protested “We’re already in a small number of people, if you tell me whom you got, it won’t be any fun”

Cas sighed. He knew he wouldn’t convince her.

“I’m afraid I won’t buy something that-” he suddenly stopped, realizing he’d almost revealed something of importance “that _the person_ would like”

“Yeah, that’s the point of Secret Santa” Charlie offered popcorn to Cas and glanced at the television before looking at him again “Normally, everyone hates what they get. Well, at least at work” she smiled slightly and remembered the perfumed candles she had been given once.

“I don’t understand this tradition” Cas sighed, his face was tired as if he was done with understanding human habits “Why would you do something if you knew that people will probably dislike it?”

“Oh, come on, Cas, it’s fun, you know, choosing the gift, giving it to the person”

“I don’t really think that’s the fun part” Castiel glanced at her, he had had a _really_ hard time thinking about the gift. He’s still got nothing.

Charlie smiled at him. She remembered her words to Dean many years ago. Cas was _indeed_ really dreamy.

“It’s not just about it” she tried to be more helpful “It’s about Christmas spirit. It’s good to give gifts to other people, even satisfying, some might say. And it’s the intention that counts” she smiled at him “You should buy something you think it matches the person. I’ve voted for the ‘do it yourself’ gift, but Dean didn’t agree to it”

After she stopped talking, Cas looked down, really concentrated. Then Charlie stood and glanced at the television once again. She turned to Cas, offering the bowl of popcorn. He shook his head and looked at her, a confused expression on his face.

“Follow your heart” she gave him a final advice “I’m sure you’ll do fine” she put her hand on Cas’s shoulder and then started circling the sofa “Well, Cas, I’m sorry, but I have to go” she stopped on the doorway “Good luck”

Charlie walked into the corridor, leaving Cas alone with his doubts. She had left the door to her bedroom opened. Inside, there was a paused film on her small television. Charlie placed the bowl on the bed and took a blanket.

Before sitting down, she walked through the room wrapped in the blanket and stopped in front of her shelf. A slim rectangular object wrapped in a red gift paper rested there, tied with a silver bow. She smiled at it, wishing silently that the two days for Christmas would go by fast. She really wanted to see the reaction of the person who would get it.

***

Dean was up early. He walked to the research room with the car keys in his hand and already fully dressed. Sam raised his head from the computer screen and widened his eyes.

“Had a bad night?” Sam asked, turning his eyes back to the screen and clicking on the keyboard.

“Actually, no” Dean answered, leaving the keys on the table and leaning against it. His face showed that he was very concentrated on something.

“New case?” Sam tried to unravel Dean’s features. But apparently he was far from the truth. Dean raised his head at him, his lips were pressed together.

“I need to buy my Secret Santa gift” he sighed and shook his head “I’ve really thought it would be a lot easier” 

The seriousness with which Dean was speaking made Sam smile a bit. He recalled that Dean was the one who had come up with the idea for Secret Santa. He and Charlie. Sam still remembered Dean’s face when he had read the name on the small piece of paper he had taken. And Sam was really curious about who that might be.

“Man, you should have already bought it” he said “And it shouldn’t be so hard. Who did you get anyway?”

Dean bit his bottom lip and looked away. That was the last time he would go out looking for a tie. He mentally told himself that if he wouldn’t find a tie with the exact shade of blue at the first store he entered, he’d buy the closest to it, but he wouldn’t go to any other one.

“You’ll know tomorrow” he finally answered, smirking at Sam.

“Really hope that it’s me and that you haven’t found a good enough gift yet” he smiled at the computer screen, teasing Dean in order to get some clue. He had a hunch on whom Dean might had got, but it was nothing but speculation.

Dean stood there, silent for some seconds, both hands on the table.

“You’ve already got yours then?”

“Of course, Dean. Two weeks ago” Sam answered, his voice sounded like that was obvious. 

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam being such a smartass. He grabbed his keys, walking past Sam and towards the stairs.

“Do you want me to buy something?” Dean suddenly stopped, remembering he didn’t actually know whether they needed new food supplies. 

Sam was typing, his face bore a big smile.

“Hey, Samantha” Dean’s voice was a little impatient “I ain’t got all day”

The name “Samantha” didn’t seem to cause the impact Dean had wished it would. Sam was still smiling at the screen of the computer. A moment after Dean had finished talking, he finally raised his head.

“Oh, yes, actually you could buy some fruit and salad” he said, setting a lock of his hair behind his ear.

“Okay” Dean answered, rolling his eyes and heading to the door.

“Actually, you could buy some pasta too. We’re out of it”

Dean stopped and waited for Sam to say something else. As he said nothing, he turned his back at him again.

“Also, a new tooth brush wouldn’t be a bad thing”

Dean turned around, starting to get pissed off.

“Is there anything _else_ you would like me to buy?”

“I think there’s a list in the kitchen” Sam completed, pointing at the door that led to the said room.

Dean sighed impatiently. He turned around and headed to the kitchen. He was back soon, carrying a small white piece of paper with writings on it.

“Laters” he said as he passed by Sam again.

However, noticing how Sam was still smiling like a fool at the computer, he made himself stop once again. For some reason, Sam giggling at the computer upset him. 

“What could possibly be so funny?” Dean asked, attracting Sam’s attention, who probably had thought that he had already left by the surprise on his features.

“Oh, it’s nothing, Dean, really, I was just talking to Marie” Sam said, pressing his lips together.

Dean frowned. It took a while for him to link the name to the person. When he did, he frowned even more.

“ _Marie_? Fanfiction-musical Marie?” his voice suddenly sounded worried “Do you still talk to her?”

“Sure” Sam said, as if that was a casual thing to do “She’s really nice, actually, she sometimes asks me for evaluating her fanfictions and musicals”

“ _Musicals_? Plural?” Dean’s face looked more intrigued at each word Sam said.

“Well, yeah, due to the great success that the ‘Supernatural Musical’ was” he said, smiling a bit “The school has let her do a lot more shows. And they actually sound great, really ingenious and-”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve got the picture. But why are you giggling like that?”

Suddenly, Sam’s face acquired a serious expression. He cleared his throat, overly solemn.

“Uh, well, I’ll read it for you, Dean, so you can draw your own conclusions” he said, still completely serious “Marie says” Sam said, reading it on the computer screen, and, as he advanced through the following words, a smile he could no longer hold back was slowly drawn on his lips “that if you’ve got Cas, you should give him a sexy angel costume” and his smile was finally complete, teasing Dean, wide and fun.

Apparently it took a while till Dean finally understood the whole implications of the sentence. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, but then he closed it again without saying a thing. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” he finally asked, after a few moments.

“Well, you looked so worried about the gift, I was telling her that” Sam still smiled at him.

“Well, then don’t” Dean said, angry “And I’ve told you a _hundred_ times to stop talking about it”

“About what?” Sam looked at Dean with innocence, Dean then started walking upstairs again “ _Destiel_?”

Dean froze and turned his head to Sam slowly.

“I’ve told you never to say that thing again” Dean’s face was angry and he was starting to blush. Sam looked at the scene with amusement.

“She’s also said-” Sam went back to the conversation on the screen and found the line he was looking for. 

He frowned.

“That I should tell Cas that if he’s got _you_ , he should consider buying pink silk lingerie”

Dean looked eye-widened at Sam as he said the last words, forgetting completely about the Destiel thing for a moment. Then he sadly remembered the time when he had gone to the future and told his future self things never to be spoken of again. Now he knew Chuck’s books had also covered it up.

“I didn’t actually understand that” Sam said “Is there any reference here that I’m not getting?” he looked at Dean and Dean shrugged, trying to look as natural as it was possible.

“She’s telling me that she doesn’t want to make you mad, and she’s actually giving me a pretty accurate description of your face right now” Sam looked from Dean to the computer, surprised again at Marie’s wit “She’s also wishing us Merry Christmas” he smiled kindly at the screen and answered her back.

“Oh, great, you tell her the same” Dean said, happy that Sam had apparently forgotten about the ‘pink silk lingerie’. _Damn Chuck’s books_.

And then a sudden idea made a thrill go down his spine. He looked at Sam, a fear on his eyes.

“Sam” he called, slowly “You haven’t told Cas about… uh, Destiel, have you?” he hesitated before actually saying the word.

“No” Sam answered and then raised his head to face him, a big, irritating smile on his lips again “You want me too?” he watched as Dean’s face got red and he wondered how far he could still push him “You know, I’m a very good wingman, Dean, I could talk to him”

“You, you-” Dean started, raising his hand and pointing at Sam “Shut your face” he said, and his furious eyes made Sam shut up and look down again at the computer. Sam concluded that he had reached the limit of Dean’s patience. Well, it had been fun, he thought as the door of the bunker slammed behind his really upset brother.

***

 

The leftovers of the Christmas supper were still on the table. Dean had insisted that, before that Secret Santa thing - which had turned out to give him a terrible headache -, they should at least eat. Sam had protested for a short period of time, having to rush his cooking in the kitchen, but it all had ended just well. The food was delicious; the fondue Charlie had suggested for dessert was absolutely fantastic. 

It all made Dean feel a little less worried about the oncoming moment when they would have to reveal whose name they’d taken. That comfort wasn’t enough though.

The atmosphere in the research room, which they were using as a dining room, was as Dean thought that Christmas should feel like. The dim lights made it all feel cozy, and all of them had a bright, light spirit to add to the small “party”.

Charlie was smiling, wearing a Christmas sweater of doubtable taste – she was aware of that, but, as it had been a gift from her mother, those shallow details didn’t actually matter. Sam had a peaceful look on his face. He and Charlie were engaged on an enthusiastic conversation which had been happening for some minutes. But then there was Cas.

_Cas_ \- the name he had taken out of that cup where Charlie had put four little folded pieces of paper. He was wearing his old trench coat. He had an easy smile on his face, which was completely unusual, but it should have to do with the fact that he was on his fifth beer. _God_ , he could have taken any other name. But it had to be _Cas_ \- the name written in a beautiful calligraphy which had provoked such worry. Cas, who had sometimes during that night looked at him in that peculiar way which was characteristic of his, and which made him feel weirdly uncomfortable.

He sighed, trying to clear his head of that matter – which would soon be over. His eyes looked for a distraction in the ordinary Christmas-y things they had arranged for that night - which was the first one they spent with Charlie and Cas.

She and Dean had bought a small tree, which now stood over a low small table in the corner of the room. Dean had contributed to the finalization of the arrangements by adding a photo to one of the branches - that photo of Cas, Sam, Ellen, Bobby, Jo and himself, taken before the day on which they had tried, in vain, to kill Lucifer with the Colt. Sam had added one of their parents, and another one, more recent, of the four of them outside, in the snow – which had been taken in the middle of a case. Charlie had added a little blue cardboard police box in one of the branches. Cas had put an angel on the top of the tree. 

Besides that, the only other decoration which was present in the room was those Christmas lights, hanging from the doors which surrounded that space. It wasn’t much, but it was certainly a great change. Actually, all of that looked like a strange scene to Dean’s mind, as if that was a day out of time, isolated in its uniqueness. 

Dean himself felt different. He was happy - despite his worries about the Secret Santa issue -, and, from time to time, a light, genuine smile would appear on his features. 

It was really an unusual day.

Suddenly then, taking Dean away from his digressions, Charlie cleared her throat. And, to Dean, that simple attitude sounded like a terrible verdict, for he already knew what would come after it.

“So, guys” she started, looking at all of them alternately “I think we are all anxious about the Secret Santa thing. So we could start the revelations now, couldn’t we?”

Dean laid his beer on the table, licking his lips, but it was Sam who answered for all of them.

“Well, sure, we can do it” he raised and looked at them “I’ll just take my gift. I’ll be back in a sec”

They all nodded at him. Charlie had brought her gift with her from her bedroom, and it was now beside her chair, on the ground, inside a bag which didn’t allow anyone to see its shape. Dean had his gift there with him too, and he fiddled with the little box wrapped in a blue paper, keeping his head down. The more he waited for them to start it, the more anxious he got. 

Cas, oddly, didn’t look to have brought anything with him, but, when Sam had said that he would get his gift, he hadn’t made any mention of following him to get his own present. He’d just stood there, his eyes looking at the decoration in the room.

The angel understood that Christmas was supposed to be a Christian holiday. So, in early years, the lack of any religious objects in the room would have confused him a little bit. But now, experienced in (most) human habits, he understood that, usually, Christian holidays weren’t used as a time for thinking of the Bible story for most people. And it was just fine, because it was more than that. It was his first celebration of Christmas, and now he comprehended that holiday was all about companionship. It was all about having the ones you loved together, and setting the worries aside. It didn’t need any of those decorations, it just needed those three people who surrounded him, and who created such a bright feeling in which he was completely submerged.

It was all about love, after all. Whether you celebrated it for Christ, whether you celebrated it for someone else.

From time to time, his eyes would certainly meet the way to Dean. The hunter was so satisfied and calm in that night, that it made Cas feel an inexplicable happiness. Looking at Dean was almost therapeutic. Quietly, discreetly, Cas watched him. For the last two minutes, he’d bit his lips a few times, and moved his eyes fast around the room. Cas frowned, Dean only did that when he was nervous.

Dean’s eyes met his, then, in his silent worry. Cas saw, on his eyes, that he had something to say, but his line of thoughts was interrupted as Sam returned to the room at that exact moment.

He came back carrying a squared object wrapped in a green paper. He set it on the table, and all of them straightened their backs, looking at one another. Charlie was the one to break the silence.

“Soo…” she started, pressing her lips together “Anyone would like to start?”

“I do” Cas promptly said, raising from his chair, a bright smile on his face.

He stood still for a while, and the three who had remained seated frowned at his silence.

“So” he cleared his throat “It’s my first time doing this, I-I don’t actually know how to begin” 

“Oh, of course” Charlie exclaimed “Sorry, Cas” she smiled, looking at him “You have to give us clues about the person whom you got, you know, physical characteristics, or aspects from their character too”

Then she stopped, widening her eyes, an idea coming up to her.

“Oh, guys, I think that it would be nice if each one of us said something personal to whom we’ve got. Like, uh, why we like them and stuff”

Dean froze on his seat, swearing mentally. Charlie had just complicated that already tenuous situation. He was going to say something, but Sam, once again, spoke first, agreeing with her. He quieted his opinion, after all, if Sam, and Cas – apparently - were okay with that, him saying that he wasn’t would throw a suspicion over his worries that he didn’t want. It was better to say nothing at all.

Cas cleared his throat then, attracting all the eyes in the room.

“So, the person whom I’ve got is very, uh, _tall_ ” 

“It’s Sam” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

Cas looked at him, confusion all over his face because of Dean’s reproving tone of voice.

“Uh- Yes, it _is_ Sam”

“Cas, you were supposed to make it hard for us to guess who it was” he explained, and, although he rolled his eyes again at Cas, a discreet smile showed up on the corner of his mouth.

“Sorry” Cas said, looking then at Sam “I didn’t know that” he looked uncomfortable, unsure of how to proceed.

Charlie decided it for him.

“Well, go on, now we know it’s Sam, but finish what you’d say about him”

“Uh- okay” he looked at Sam, who was now smiling kindly at Cas “So, I’d say that, although we’ve been through a lot of rough times, and that I have betrayed you more than once and brought you back from the cage soulless – which I did _not_ do on purpose -, I believe that we are over all of that, and I wanted you to know that I consider you to be a great friend of mine. Family, even”

Sam’s smile widened then. He got up and wrapped Cas in a tight, warm hug, which he responded to. When they got apart, Cas seemed to have just remembered something.

“Oh, wait here, I’ll get your present” he said “I couldn’t bring it here before, because, well, you’ll see”

With that mysterious sentence, he left the room in a hurry, leaving three curious faces behind him. It didn’t take long for him to come back, and, when he did, the reactions he got from them were of total surprise. 

That was because, when he came back, he had a creature in his arms which took a while to be identified as a Golden Retriever puppy, for _no one_ was actually expecting that.

After a first moment of shock, the expression on each face was different. Charlie and Sam were smiling widely at the dog, Dean was frowning, still confused.

“A _dog_?” he asked, overwhelmed by that.

Cas frowned, not getting Dean’s reaction.

“Well, yes, after talking to Charlie, I thought that this was the best option”

Dean turned to Charlie.

“ _You_ suggested it? You did this?” he pointed at the yapping dog in Cas’s arms.

“I didn’t even know whom he’d got. I just told him to get something that he thought the person would like”

“And, as I knew that Sam love dogs, I thought that we could use a new member in our, uh, ‘gang’” Cas ended, looking cheerfully at Dean, and then shrinking his smile as Dean was still serious.

“ _Gang?_ We’re not in ‘Scooby-Doo’”

“Oh, come on, cut it out, _Fred_ ” Sam said, chuckling as he glanced at Dean “And give it to me” he exclaimed, looking at Cas.

He walked towards the angel and received the little puppy from Cas’s hands.

“Oh, my God, thank you, Cas” Sam said, holding his new pet, and Charlie got up too to watch it closer.

“Hold on there” Dean said, making everyone look at him “There is _no_ way we’re going to keep it”

“ _What_?” Sam said “Says who?”

“A dog, _here_ , really? What if he pisses on important files, or chew them, and what-“ he stopped, trying to find another reason and sighing as he couldn’t find any “And, besides, who gives a _dog_ on Secret Santa?”

“I didn’t know there were any specifications” Cas said, genuinely worried.

Dean covered his face with his hand, sighing in frustration. Sam interrupted.

“There _aren’t_ any restrictions, Cas, don’t worry, I _love_ it” he said, his voice firm and clear.

He turned to Dean.

“And we _will_ keep it”

Dean raised a finger, ready to give Sam a reply, but he couldn’t find what to say. After a moment, then, sounding defeated, he finally sighed in agreement.

“Okay” he said, reluctantly “But keep it away from the Impala” Dean warned Sam, his face serious.

Sam smiled wide. He knew the problem was the Impala. 

“It won’t go near the Impala, Dean, calm down” he said, smiling.

Charlie was already passing her hand on the dog’s head.

“Oh, my God, it’s so cute” she said, in a squealing voice “Hey, is it a boy or a girl?”

Sam raised the puppy a little bit in order to give his verdict.

“A girl” he said, bringing it down again and caressing her fur.

“Which is going to be her name?” Charlie asked.

Dean had approached them, and was now looking at the puppy in a softer way.

“Don’t you guys think you could decide that later?” he asked.

Charlie looked up at him and nodded.

“That’s true, I mean, we’ve got to finish this”

After a moment, Sam was already back from his own bedroom, where he and Charlie had left the dog with food and water and had spread papers all over the floor in case it needed to use them for some ‘nature’s call’. When they entered the room again, Dean and Cas were silent, sitting around the table again.

Charlie sat down too, while Sam approached the table, resting his hands on his gift and looking around, waiting for their attention to be fixed upon him so he could start to reveal whom he’d got.

He cleared his throat.

“Well, the person whom I’ve got” he started, smiling slightly “Is someone who entered in my life in a much unexpected way, and I’m so glad that them did so, because” and he turned to Charlie “she is one of the smartest, and most badass people I’ve ever met”

Charlie smiled back widely. She got up and hugged Sam tight.

“Thank you, Sam” she said, tightening her hold on him a little more.  
“You’re awesome” he said, as they parted “And I hope that you’ll like this” he said, as he raised his gift and gave it to her.

She took it from his hands, sitting down and starting to tear the paper. Soon, it revealed a box containing seven blue hard cover books in it. The box had the words “ _Harry Potter_ ” written on it.

Charlie widened her eyes as recognition hit her, and she didn’t need Sam to explain to her what that was, but he still did – which was helpful to Dean and Cas, who looked at the books half curious, half confused.

“It’s a special Harry Potter edition. The books come in your Hogwarts’ House color”

Charlie raised her head at him.

“How did you know I’m a Ravenclaw?”

He chuckled.

“Lucky guess. Besides, I think that a Ravenclaw knows how to identify another one”

“Thank you, Sam, _really_ , I _love_ it” she said, her eyes shining in excitement as she looked at her new books.

She hesitated to put them aside to continue the revelations. She was ready to talk, when she suddenly stopped, realizing something. The other three looked at one another, suddenly getting what she’d just understood.

“Well, I guess that now it’s pretty obvious who got whom” she vocalized what everyone was thinking “But, anyway, I won’t give my gift away without saying something”

She paused, taking her bag which contained the gift and turning to face Dean.

“Dean” she started “Knowing you – and Sam – changed my life. And, yes, it isn’t always pleasant, but, in exchange, I’ve got a big brother, who, beneath all that rough exterior” and she smiled as she said those words “is the sweetest person I’ve ever known”

Dean had already got up to hug her. He pulled her close, pressing her against him. Charlie rested her head on his chest, hugging him back. Dean’s face had suddenly got emotive. He frowned, his features invaded by a caring tone.

It was a Led Zeppelin LP which he discovered under the red paper and the silver bow. He let out an exclamation.

“Wow, where did you get this? I’ve been looking for this one for some time now”

“On-line” she said, sounding modest “I’ve got some special contacts” a little smile showed up in the corner of her lips “Also, I owe you an apology, because I entered your room to see which one you didn’t have”

For a second, Dean seemed a little shaken by that last revelation. There was a will of asking her when it had been, but it was over in the next moment, when he decided it didn’t actually matter.

As Charlie sat down too, her eyes and Sam’s started moving from Dean – who was still standing up and putting his new LP aside – to Cas – who looked at Dean too, waiting for him to say something.

Dean finally turned to Cas, but his eyes still faced the ground. He was visibly uneasy, tapping his right foot on the ground. After a silent moment, he finally raised his head, but, when he did, he didn’t look at Cas, he looked at the three of them.

“Do I really have to do it?” he asked, never letting his eyes stay over Cas’s for too long “I mean, it’s obvious that I’ve got Cas”

“We’ve all done it, Dean” Sam protested “Come on”

Dean then nodded, resigned.

“Okay, okay” he said, looking down.

He cleared his throat before he looked up again – this time, his eyes were exclusively locked on Cas.

“So, when I first met the _mysterious_ person whom I’ve got, he was kind of a douchebag” he said, his voice filled up with sarcasm “Then I found out that he was actually a good person” he made a pause “Then… well, he was a douchebag _again_ , and now, well, he’s _mostly_ a good person” 

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean’s attempt of humor. But it was Charlie who voiced his reaction.

“Oh, come on, Dean, cut it out”

Dean sighed. His face still bore some skeptical traces, but, on the inside, he could feel the anxiety hitting his stomach and climbing up to his chest. He tried to keep his indifferent expression, but, the more he looked into Cas’s eyes, the more it disappeared slowly from his face. Those ridiculously light blue eyes were so fixated upon him that it looked like they were seeing through him, through his jokes and irony.

Suddenly, Dean couldn’t find any word to carry on his speech. His mind was a total blank.

Sam cleared his throat loudly then, and Dean realized that too many seconds had gone by and he hadn’t done anything but stare at Cas. He could feel the blood warming his face up as he looked at the ground. He stuttered for a moment before he was able to arrange concrete words in an order that made sense.

“Well, Cas” he said “You are a really nice guy, although you’re kind of weird sometimes, but I-I wanted to say that you’re like family to me”

The sentence was extremely short and simple, but it looked like it had a great impact on Cas, for he advanced at once towards Dean and wrapped his arms tightly around him.

The hug didn’t last long, as Dean barely returned it and soon pulled back. He took the little blue box from the table and stretched out his arm, offering it to Cas.

“Did you get what I suggested you to?” it was Sam’s voice, loud and ironic.

Cas frowned, looking at the younger Winchester brother. However, Dean’s face got so serious and uncomfortable as he looked at him as well, that Sam avoided his intense eyes, looking at his feet and deciding not to say anything else.

As Dean still looked at Sam, Cas had already got over his comment and was getting busy in opening his gift. The exclamation that he let out as he looked inside the little box made Dean turn his attention to him again.

Cas had left the box on the table and now held a tie in his right hand. The dark blue on its smooth surface looked beautiful under those dim lights. 

“You know, for the old times” Dean said, the words leaving his mouth effortless, as if they had a will of their own.

And then, in the next moments, not only his words started behaving like that. He looked at Cas as he took off his current tie – the striped one – and put on the totally blue one, not caring whether he was paying too much attention to the angel. And it was like his senses were numb as, when Cas tied it up perfectly, he stepped ahead and he held the tie with both of his hands, loosening its knot on his neck before turning it backwards. His heart still pounded fast in his chest, and he was sure that he was still a bit blushed, but, at that moment, he felt nothing at all.

After the tie was untidy, Dean smiled slightly, and mumbled _“That’s better”_ so low that only Cas could listen to him. When he looked up again, he noticed that Cas hadn’t stopped staring at him, and, as if he had just got rid of a spell, he snapped back to reality. Suddenly, the proximity with Cas bothered him again. He gulped down, avoiding those blue skies which still looked for him and stepping back.

“Thank you, Dean” he heard Cas’s harsh voice as he looked at his left, away from Sam and Charlie. He didn’t want to see the reactions on their faces.

God, he’d _really_ screwed up that time, hadn’t he? Could he have been _more_ obvious?

“Glad you liked it, Cas” he said, his voice barely audible. 

After a moment, they were all sat again. Sam left the room a couple of times to check on his new dog, they discussed possible names for it, Cas’s hands unconsciously caressed his new tie a couple of times. They drank a few more beers, and they talked about random things. All of them were extremely happy, and they sounded and acted like an actual family – which they were.

Dean, however, since the Secret Santa revelation, had got unusually quiet. He still laughed, and joined the discussions, but he fell into silence quickly, and his smile hardly reached his troubled eyes. He moved his chair back a little bit, discreetly getting away from the conversation circle at each second.

He was the first one to leave the room. And he did so in such a silent way that it gave the impression that in one moment he was standing right there, in the background, and, in the next one, he was gone.

***

The wind blew strongly in the desert road. Although it was insanely cold, the night sky was clear, and, from between the tree tops, the stars shone with a cold light, like little diamonds on the surface of a dark sea.

He hadn’t put on an enough warm coat to be outside in that weather. It had been almost half an hour since he’d climbed the stairs and left the bunker, everyone in the research room should have left to sleep by now. The cold bit his fingers and his cheeks, but he stood there, almost in a stubborn manner, pulling his thin jacket closer to his skin.

That was stupid. Dean knew it.

He felt angry at himself, and at his situation, he wished he wasn’t going through any of that, and yet, paradoxically, he wished he would speak up what was going on with him and deal with the consequences – for he hated that feeling of impotence, of being a prisoner of his will.

Dean couldn’t know exactly when it had started, maybe it had been a few weeks after Cas had moved in. He thought that the dreams had come first. Ordinary dreams, then nightmares, then wet dreams, all in which the main character was that stupid feather head who looked so good in a sexy angel costume – at least in his imagination, and he would have to thank Sam for that one.

He’d denied that attraction to himself for a long time, and then acceptance had spread its comforting hands slowly over him. He was feeling good about himself, at least in theory. The thing is that, when he actually got next to Cas, when he felt his body responding to his, he couldn’t bear that feeling. He felt wrong. Facing reality, his inner acceptance shattered in hundreds of pieces and fear claimed the now empty place in which acceptance had dwelled.

The wind blew stronger for a moment, and Dean was so immerged in those thoughts that he didn’t hear as someone opened the bunker door. He only heard as it was closed - because of the loud noise it provoked. His heart skipped a beat as he turned back to see who it was, a fragile hope which he couldn’t fight laid its claws on his chest.

Then, as he turned back, he sighed, relieved.

A shade of red hair was walking fast towards him. Charlie stopped beside the older Winchester brother, both of them now facing the road, their backs to the bunker. Their breaths could be seen like steam in the air.

“Were you expecting someone taller? Maybe someone with _blue eyes_ , an _overcoat_?” her voice was affected by the cold, but Dean could discern the fun in it.

He didn’t answer.

“Sorry” she said, after a moment.

“It’s okay”

They both went silent then. Charlie looked at the sky, appreciating the view as she thought of the freezing man beside her. She was very cold, but her interest in Dean’s worry didn’t let her mind apprehend that sensation in its totality. There was something that connected her deeply to Dean’s issue, and she suddenly felt an extreme empathy for him.

They had said nothing, but they both felt deeply bonded and close to each other at that moment, beneath the stars.

“I understand you, trust me” Charlie was the one to break the silence “And it’s okay if you don’t feel like answering me or explaining anything to me”

Dean then looked at her, and he felt comfort invading him, coming just from the way she looked at him, from her eyes, from her features. He had never had a deep talk with Charlie before, he didn’t even think that they’d been alone long enough to allow it to happen. God, he didn’t even know that he _needed_ that comfort till then. But now, as he looked at her, and heard her voice, he realized that maybe that was all he’d ever needed.

“You feel kind of weird, out of place. You think that something is wrong with you, or with the world, at least” 

He’d never accepted lightly any pieces of advice from Sam, and maybe that was because he felt that they wouldn’t solve anything, that Sam would just tell him things which he had _guessed_. But not Charlie. Charlie had that understanding look on her face that told him she’d already spend nights awoken, trying to unravel her feelings; her face told him that, sometime, she should have doubted herself; and her face told him that she’d overcome all of her insecurities. It told him that he could do it too.

“What should I do?”

He didn’t add any context to the question. He didn’t say what it was about. But she didn’t need him to.

“Be true to yourself. There is no shame in _that_ , Dean”

“In _what_?” Dean answered quickly, defensively, turning to face her again.

She had an unexpected slight and yet bright smile on her face.

“In allowing yourself to be happy” she answered, and her voice was firm.

The wind hauled past them. Dean didn’t know what to say.

“You deserve _that_ , Dean” you deserve _that_ – the way Cas _looks_ at you, the way he _cares_ about you, the way he _loves_ you. You deserves it _all_ , Dean “So go for it”

Dean looked at her again, and there was still a smile on her face, and a caring look on her eyes. He allowed himself to let a slight smile show up on his lips.

“Thank you, Charlie” he said, sincerely grateful.

“Any day” she answered, noticing that he wasn’t that uneasy anymore.

“Let’s go inside? The boys must have already gone to sleep” she said again, after a short silence.

It took a while for Dean to answer.

“You go. I’m right behind, you” he said, and the added as he saw mistrust on her eyes “I’ll go after a few moments, seriously. I’m better now, Charlie, don’t worry”

Maybe it was the tone of his voice – almost back to the ordinary one -, or the easy expression on his face, but she actually believed him – even knowing, by reading Chuck’s books, that he had almost never said those words sincerely. But in that moment, she believed him.

She turned around then, laying her hand on his arm before going inside.

“Don’t take long. I don’t want you to freeze to death in here” and, with those words, she headed to the bunker door, the steam from her breathing visible as she walked away.

She closed the door behind her, disappearing from Dean’s view.

It didn’t take long for him to follow her. Of course he wasn’t completely fine, nor his previous worries had all disappeared, but he felt better, he felt like he could have a good night of sleep and actually deal with that issue in the next morning. The little of what was left of his anxiety still bit him, but now he felt that he might have the courage to face it at last.

And, above all, he felt an _immeasurable_ gratitude and love for Charlie.

***

As Dean arrived at the bottom of the stairs, still rubbing his hands against each other in order to warm himself up, he noticed that the leftovers had already been taken from the table. The gift papers, though, were still there. They should have decided to clean everything up in the next morning.

He crossed the empty room and headed to his bedroom. Everything was quiet. As he passed by Charlie’s room, he noticed – from under the door - that the light was still on in her bedroom. He walked silently, passing by Cas’s room next. There was no noise, the light was off. Dean giggled low, thinking that, with the amount of beer that he’d drank, he should be sleeping like a baby.

Dean opened his own bedroom door, and looked at his watch before taking it off. Two o’clock. He yawned, stretching himself, a sudden weight on his eyelids. He started undressing himself, and then he put on sweatpants, an old t-shirt and, over it all, his grey robe. He was about to lay down when there were, clearly, distinctly, three consecutives knocks on the door.

He frowned, and the first idea that came to his mind was that Charlie wanted to add something to their conversation. So, almost in a good mood, he walked to the door and opened it up, waiting to see her short red hair in front of him.

Instead of it, though, he found-

“Cas?”

As Dean said his name, Cas’s eyes focused on his. The hunter was a little surprised to find him out there. A small curiosity was raised in his mind, altogether with the resurrection of a bit of his anxiety.

The angel stood there, without saying anything, for a few seconds that, to Dean, seemed to be a century. He stared at him shamelessly, and Dean realized that he was a bit – or maybe more than that – drunk, but less than he thought he’d be. The Winchester’s eyes moved to Cas’s collar bone, and he noticed that the blue tie was still there.

Finally, then, Dean cleared his throat.

“Cas, uh-“ he gulped down, licking his lower lip “What do you want?”

Cas diverted his eyes from Dean, looking at the ground. He seemed to be a little embarrassed then.

“I-I heard when you passed by my bedroom” he started, looking up at Dean again “And I just wanted to see whether you were all right. You seemed a little upset at dinner” 

“Oh, you noticed it, then” Dean said, in a clumsy way.

_God, how could those eyes be so blue?_

“Well” Cas chuckled “I think that maybe I’ve got used to notice your expressions”

Dean chuckled too, then, not knowing how to answer. There was a second moment of silence, in which they stared at each other again, a sudden tension between them.

“So, I’m fine, Cas, really. I was just a little stressed, but it doesn’t matter, it’s nothing, really”

But it didn’t look like that was enough to make Cas go away.

“I really liked the tie”

Cas insisted in staying there, and Dean couldn’t possibly guess what he actually wanted to say, but there was something on his eyes, and on his movements, that showed him that there was something which Cas was not saying.

“Well, I’m glad that you did, it took me a while to find one exactly like your old one” Dean replied.

Cas smiled slightly at him.

“I appreciate your effort” he said, and his slight smile became a smirk.

“Well, it looks better on you than that striped one” Dean said, taking a quick glance at the tie, and finding out, surprised, that it was tied up right again.

It was such a little detail, and yet it bothered him so much. He couldn’t stop a doubt from being formed in his mind. _Why had he straightened the tie?_ Dean shook his head, telling himself there was nothing weird about it, nothing that was worth taking notice. Cas’s blue eyes still stared at him as he looked up at him again. They felt like two giant magnets.

In an impulse, Dean took a step forward, shaking his head in disapproval.

_Why had he straightened the tie?_  
“Cas, come on, this is not right” he said, and his hands lay on the smooth fabric of the tie again.

But now, after Dean had loosened the knot, his hands stood on it for a while longer. There was no one there to rush him. Dean glanced at Cas, his heart beating fast because of the short distance between them. They were so close he could feel Cas’s body warmth, Cas’s breath. His hands started to sweat, and his blood pumped in his veins like fire.

Charlie’s voice was like an echo in his head. _Go for it_. But, for some reason, he couldn’t move. The question still bothered him. And he kept refusing the answer which his mind got for it. He couldn’t believe it was true, despite of finding weird that Cas would show up there like that; despite of Cas still standing there, in front of him for no apparent reason. He couldn’t believe it. It had to be something else.

_Why had he straightened the-_

And Cas’s lips were over his in the next second. 

The moment when the angel had stepped forward and searched for Dean’s lips had happened too fast for Dean to have time to do something about it. He felt as Cas’s smooth lips lay over his, hastily, the angel’s right hand pulling him by his robe in order to get him close.

When they parted, Dean frowned at Cas. And, because of his reaction, Cas stepped back. He was about to whisper something - which probably was an apology - when Dean realized his intentions, and his expression changed at once. At the simple notion of Cas leaving his room, he stepped forward, one hand wrapping Cas by his waist and pulling his body against his own, kissing him hard.

Dean’s mind was overwhelmed with happiness and adrenaline. Confusing thoughts passed by his head without getting much attention from him. The only one that came back from time to time was that he _was_ right. Cas had straightened the tie _on purpose_. He’d done it. And the rest was only the sensation of Cas’s mouth and tongue against his own; the sensation of the angel biting his lip and laying his strong hands against his neck; the comforting assurance that both of them wanted that _so_ bad.

Now Cas’s hands were on Dean’s back, holding him close, as Dean’s hands started to loosen his tie even more than they’d already done. Cas pulled back for a while.

“I thought you’d said that you liked it on me” Cas said, his teasing voice surprising Dean.

Cas didn’t give the hunter a moment to recover from his attitude, as he started kissing him again, moving from his mouth to his chin and neck, sucking his skin, his warm lips making a wet noise as they touched Dean’s skin. Dean gasped at the contact, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, offering more skin to Cas. Then, as they parted again, Cas himself pulled his tie off, walking into the room and closing the door behind him with a wave of his hand. He looked back at Dean, who stared at him with lust and desire on his eyes, and he stepped forward, pulling the hunter’s robe down, and watching as Dean himself took off his shirt.

And they were kissing again, each time harder, and more hastily. Cas touched Dean’s bare back, feeling his skin as the hunter unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his neck as he did so. And then Cas pushed him back, and Dean was slightly scared for a moment – for he hadn’t noticed that his bed was right behind them. As he hit the mattress, he smirked at Cas, who looked down at him, an intense look on his eyes.

Dean didn’t know whether it had been the alcohol which made Cas open up like that, but he couldn’t lie to himself: he was enjoying every second of it. Cas’s unexpected attitude, his posture before him, his intensity, all of it made him more avid for touching his body and feeling his skin against his own.

Cas dropped his trench coat and his shirt onto the floor and climbed onto the bed, straddling Dean between his legs and kissing him again. Their skins rubbed against each other, and Cas started rocking his hips slowly against Dean’s, making the hunter tremble at the friction. Dean’s trousers got tighter as he felt Cas’s erection pressed against him. 

“Where the hell have you learned how to do that?” Dean got to ask, as Cas started kissing his neck again “Have you been watching some pizza man lately?” he smirked.

Cas stopped, frowning a bit as he looked at Dean. His eyes trapped Dean inside of them.

“No” Cas answered, tilting his head to the side, confused “I believe that _this_ I've learned from the copy guy”

Dean laughed then - loudly, shamelessly. He pulled Cas’s face at his, kissing him briefly before he pulled back, starting to unbuckle Cas’s belt. Cas finished his job for him, kicking his pants away and helping Dean get rid of his own. The only thing that parted their erections as they started to rock their hips together again was their underwear.

Then Cas started moving down on Dean’s body, starting to kiss his nipples. He licked them slowly, looking obliquely at Dean as he did so. The hunter gasped, throwing his head back on the bed. Then, Cas stopped for a bit, which made Dean look at him, his face all blushed and sweated. He had a questioning expression on his face, avid to keep the touching.

“Dean” Cas said, appearing a little indecisive “Would you like me to perform oral sex on you?” 

In any other occasion, Dean would have cracked up laughing at the question, but there was something on Cas’s intense look, something on his harsh, firm voice, that just made him even more horny. He gulped down, nodding in response. Cas seemed to be satisfied by his answer.

He got back to licking Dean’s nipples, and, slowly, he moved down. He pulled Dean’s underwear down, letting out Dean’s almost full erection. He held the base of his length and mouthed it slowly. Cas’s tongue felt wet and hot against Dean’s hard flesh. The hunter moved his hips up, responding to the touch, as Cas kept masturbating him, his mouth making wet noises as he sucked him, faster by the second.

Dean held Cas’s hair, wishing to prolong that contact as long as he could. But then, unexpectedly, Cas waved one hand in the air and his grace pushed Dean’s arms over his head, holding them there. Cas stopped and looked up at Dean, and it wasn’t necessary for him to say that he wished Dean to stay still, because the hunter had already understood it, and he agreed to it by nodding. There was something oddly pleasing about it, about letting Cas take the lead of the situation, because he realized that he wasn’t afraid to do so, he trusted Cas completely to give himself up to his care.

At the next moment Cas was already down on Dean again, he moved one hand up Dean’s thigh as he worked on him, tightening his grip on it. Dean bit his lip as Cas licked his dick and grabbed his testicles, holding back a moan as best as he could. However, when Cas mouthed all of his dick, and, as then, going up again, licked the tip of it, Dean couldn’t help moaning.

“Oh, _God_ , Cas” he said between teeth, his face bushed and heated.

He could feel the orgasm building up. And he moaned again, still not being able to move his hands, as though they were tied over his head. Maybe it was something angels could sense – and Dean would definitely ask Cas about it later -, but, a little before he was on the edge, Cas pulled back and finished masturbating him with his hand. That change didn’t last, as Dean soon came, cum spreading all over his stomach as Cas watched it, paying attention as Dean threw his head back and grunted. 

Dean breathed hard and unevenly, his body finally relaxed on the surface of the mattress. He looked at Cas again, smirking as their eyes met.

“Well” Dean said, after a moment, as he felt he could move his hands again and wiped the sweat out of his forehead “I do have to thank the copy guy, apparently”

Cas smiled at him, advancing and kissing Dean, his mouth tasting saltier now. Dean felt Cas’s length against his junk and then, as though he’d just recalled it, he pushed Cas back. Cas stood on his knees over the mattress as Dean pulled his underwear – wet by pre-cum liquid – down, and grabbed Cas’s half-erection on his hand, starting to masturbate him.

The angel pulled back and Dean looked at him, frowning.

“You don’t want me to-?”

“Yes, _yes_ ” Cas said “Just let me-” he said, and then his actions completed his words as he moved to the head of the bed, sitting and leaning his back on the head board. He spread his bended legs, inviting Dean to approach him.

Dean was smiling teasingly as he got between his legs and started kissing him as he masturbated Cas with his hand. Cas grunted as he got hard on Dean’s hands, kissing Dean in a more aggressive way. It didn’t take long for the hunter to get down on Cas and start sucking him, pulling the angel’s legs apart and mouthing his swollen dick willingly. 

Cas, on his turn, held Dean’s hair with one hand, as the other one grasped the blanket beneath him. Dean didn’t mind it. Cas’s strong grip on him was actually kind of hot. He alternated between licking his testicles and mouthing his dick, palpating Cas’s stomach and back with his free hand as he did so.

The angel didn’t moan, but he bit his lower lip repeatedly, throwing his head back as pleasure bit his whole body. Then, in a moment, when he grunted and asked Dean to go faster, the lights in the room started blinking.

Dean stopped at once, and, on his face, Cas saw fear and that sense of danger that the long years hunting had given him. He rushed in saying something to calm him down.

“Dean, it’s _me_ ” Cas said, and Dean frowned at him, the serious hunter look being replaced by a surprised one “I-I couldn’t help, sorry” Cas said, visibly ashamed, but still facing Dean.

However, as Dean understood that, in some way, he had provoked that reaction on the angel, and that their sex was being the cause of blinking lights, it didn’t look like that apology was needed. He smirked before getting back to Cas.

Cas didn’t moan, but the lights blinked again many times, and, at each one, it seemed to stimulate Dean to continue the blowjob. Then, Cas’s grip on his hair got a little harder, and Dean heard Cas’s harsh voice saying between breaths.

“Dean, I’m-I’m-”

The hunter knew the end of that sentence, and Cas didn’t mind to finish it, as he hit the orgasm next, his grasp on Dean’s hair getting stronger. He grunted, opening his mouth widely and throwing his head back as he came in Dean’s mouth. At that moment, the lights in Dean’s room burst. A brief rain of sparkles illuminated the room and then darkness fell heavily over it.

Dean raised his head, satisfied, yet a bit surprised. He swallowed, looking at Cas’s direction in the darkness. He crawled on the bed and got a flashlight which he kept by the nightstand. He pointed it at Cas, watching how he still breathed hard, the sweat making his body gleam under the yellow light.

Then Dean pointed the beam of light at the ceiling, checking out the damage that the angel had somehow provoked. He shook his head, chuckling.

“This is surreal, _really_ ” he said “Looks like a much overdone porn movie”

Cas looked at him, a little confused. Dean put on his robe and left the room for a while, to see whether the damage had been restricted to his bedroom and to clean himself up. When he came back, after conferring that the other lights were fine, he found Cas laying down on the right side of the bed.

The angel hadn’t minded putting his clothes on, and Dean glanced at his naked body for a few seconds before climbing onto the bed and lying by his side. When he’d just set himself comfortable, though, the door suddenly opened. A strong flash of light blinded him momentarily.

There was a muffled scream of surprise, and it took Dean a few seconds to recognize Sam’s voice, and Sam’s silhouette - when his eyes got used to the amount of light over him.

“ _Good Christ_ , Dean” he heard his brother saying right before he closed the door, throwing them in darkness again.

“ _Don’t you know how to knock_?” Dean shouted, amazed at how easily he was dealing with all of that, as though it happened on a daily basis.

Sam had obviously entered the room quite worried. A few minutes ago, the lights had been blinking crazily, making the younger Winchester brother fear that something bad was happening. He’d already checked on Charlie - and she was okay-, but, as he couldn’t find Cas in his bedroom, he’d got really worried and had decided to look for his brother.

Dean felt genuinely sorry for him. But it wasn’t as if he could do something to change the fact that the image of Cas’s naked body beside his own would probably remain in his brother’s brain for quite some time. Besides, it wasn’t as though Sam had _never_ caught him in an “after sex” moment – not with another man or friend, that was true, but it didn’t change things a lot, did it? 

He sighed, laying down, and resting his head on his pillow. He was oddly relaxed.

The hunter and the angel were both overwhelmed by all of what had happened that night. Their past selves from that same morning, ignorant about what the future saved for them, looked like completely different people. For Dean, mainly, the Secret Santa, the conversation with Charlie, it all seemed to have happened months ago.

They looked at the ceiling, silent, for several moments. And then at some point Dean felt as Cas moved on the bed, and he felt the angel’s hand holding his face and pulling it to his lips again. That kiss was different from any which had come before it. It was the first of its kind: gentle, sweet, slow. 

It took a while till they parted, and Dean, even though they were in complete darkness, was sure that Cas was smiling. Or maybe it was just because he himself bore a large smile on his face. He wasn’t sure.

At some point - Dean wasn’t certain of when -, between kisses and touches, Cas had hugged him from behind, in a way that Dean could feel his warm breath on the back of his neck. Then, under all of the exhausting and satisfying – yet unexpected - emotions that day had brought them, they finally allowed themselves to rest, falling into a dreamless sleep.

They slept comfortably and deeply till late in that Christmas morning - the first one of many that Cas would spend with the Winchesters, and also the first one of many that the angel would wake up sharing a bed with Dean. 

 

(Coincidence or not, it was the first good night of sleep that Dean had in a long while. Dean wouldn’t call it a Christmas miracle, as Sam and Charlie did when he and Cas entered the research room together around eleven o’clock in the next morning. Instead, he would have said that it was as if Cas holding him on his arms kept his bad dreams away - but that sounded too much like a teenage romance book, and his policy with chick flick moments hadn’t changed over the years)

**Author's Note:**

> Thaaaat's it, hope you guys have enjoyed it.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> And, as always, leave a kind comment and make an amateur writer happy :p


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